Anyone else struggle to make/keep friends?

[viki.adams1984]

I have never had many friends and those I have had I've always 'lost' really easily. The friends that I have now, one thinks my illnesses are all in my head and I need to get over myself, and the other thinks that the world revolves around her. I suffer with PCOS and depression so really struggle at the best of times to get by and I feel so immensely lonely, I physically can't go to new places on my own so joining parent toddler groups is a no-no, I have no family that live near or would support me anyway. Is anyone else here in a similar situation with people?

[Hellfire]

I struggle to make and keep friends too. I don't have an illness like yourself, so don't have those 'friends' who think it's in your head.
My problem is I'm very shy in person. It takes a lot for me to let my guard down and let people in, then I'm not so shy.
The friends I made in school vanished when I went to uni. And those I made at uni didn't seem to last once I came back home again. I have 3 close friends that I would say are probably my only ones. Two from school, one from uni.
People don't seem to realise that introverted people need a bit more time to get to know.

[Eliste]

I'm not exactly in the same position, but I have always found it hard to meet new people and make new friends. I regularly have mini-panic attacks at the thought of going places where I will have to interact with others when I dont know anyone there. I end up hyperventilating and have to force myself to go. I was very shy when I was younger, but now it's more fear of meeting people. Whatever it is, it's gotten worse after I hit 30.

I have suffered from depression in the past, and I know how completely isolating it can feel. People just don't understand if they're not dealing with it themselves how hard even just being awake, much less functioning like a "real" person can be when you've got it.

I can't offer much help in the way of advice, but you definitely aren't alone in having difficulties with this.

[Mishatu]

My boat is very much the same. Since hitting college, I've hardly spoken to my highschool friends, and the one girl I was getting close to on campus no longer seems to want to talk to me. Any more, most of the people I consider to be friends are people I know from online games. It makes me feel bad when I realize that, but I have to step back and remember that, when I am reaching out to people in real life, they don't seem to want to reach back. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid to share that I'm depressed with them (because of that be-damned stigma of being a mental illness) or if it's because they don't realize just how big a step it is for me to initiate conversation with them.

Of course, it doesn't help matters that I was supposed to have a roommate, but she never came back to campus this year. So, it's just been me and my baby turtle making faces at each other. Few people even know where my apartment is, since no one ever comes to visit me.

Yeah, definitely sounds like a similar boat, to me :/

[Firestarterr]

I find it really hard to make new friends and keep them. Living in a college town, where most people leave is hard. I also find it really hard as an adult to make friends, where do people go besides grocery stores. One of my strategy was going to be to go up to people in the grocery store and be like "Hey, wanna be friends". Figured this one could be weird though.
My two close friends live 2 hours away and they never come to visit and when I am home, I am always torn between them and spending time with my family. They really don't seem to understand, and I am not good at telling people no :/ I have struggled with depression and I know how hard it can be.
I have been going to a therapist for the last 3 weeks and that has seemed to help a bit. I don't know if that is something you would consider doing, but I find it really great to talk to someone I honestly don't know. The flip side of that is I still haven't made any new friends because I am so shy and awkward when it comes to talking to new people... maybe in time it might get better, but I don't know :/

[LucyInTheSky]

I had my "friends" in high school who I always sat with at lunch and after school and all those fun "back in the day this is what BFFs are" thing. When we went to college, they all stopped talking to me since they were off living their lives. I was really hurt... when they came to visit, I remember one, who I thought was my best friend of them all, we met up and she just wanted me to drive her places to see other friends. After I dropped her off somewhere so she could hang with other people, that was the last time I spoke with her which was almost 10 years ago. I've had other friends who it was similar where a lot of hanging out with them was because I was lonely or they were there or whatever, as opposed to being people I actually liked and respected and who liked and respected me. Over the last 10 years, my tolerance for that has severely gone done and I've cut most of them out of my life. What I have found is that I've had people come back into my life and new ones who are wonderful, wonderful friends. It took awhile for me to warm up and we've had our issues of course, but they've really been there for me. When I was going to therapy, I usually left crying and two lived right around the corner, so I just would show up at their house and they'd let me in, feed me, I'd cuddle the dog, then go home.Things like that. I struggle with feeling lonely (especially now that I've moved and they've moved) and I have so much trouble letting people in... what I've learned is that I would much rather be alone than deal with people who make me feel bad about myself or who are using me. It doesn't make the loneliness go away, but I always think of the quote about how sometimes being surrounded by people is the loneliest place. I do believe that if we want new things to show up in our lives, we need to clear room. It is tough to reduce your time with people and/or cut them off, especially when you think they're your only options, but for me, it's worth it because you go through pain and it sucks for awhile and you're better for it and open for something new. And even if you don't see the "better for it" and can't believe in the "open for something new", at least you don't have that garbage and negativity in your life.

[viki.adams1984]

I've always been really shy, I suffered with acrophobia in the past, I still struggle to go anywhere new and even harder if I have to go alone, I also have a very dry/odd sense of humour which most people don't get. I cope with things by trying to make other people feel better if they feel down but I think they feel I'm just making fun. It's nice to know I'm not the only one but also really upsetting if that makes sense?

[viki.adams1984]

Agoraphobia even sorry

[blackmageheart]

I, too, have this problem. Having suffered with anxiety, depression and agoraphobia for most of my life, I've always found it difficult to "get out there" and make friends. When I do make them I don't often keep them. The best friends I have are all online, mostly because we're all in the same mental boat, as it were. I have made some "offline" friends, most notably the lovely lady who lives next door to me (she also has mental problems so is very understanding.) The other friends are mums whose kids are in my daughter's class at school, so I at least have something in common with them.
I often feel desperately lonely but that's why I come to Sprite Stitch about 20 times a day (and also why I use Facebook), so I don't feel completely removed from the world. It may be through a screen but I have found it to help with the loneliness.

I'm not sure I am in a position to give advice at the minute but I will say this - you are among friends here. You stick around long enough and you become part of our family!

[LucyInTheSky]

I also have a very dry/odd sense of humour which most people don't get. I cope with things by trying to make other people feel better if they feel down but I think they feel I'm just making fun.

Ha, yup. I understand completely. I offend many a person with an innocent joke or offhanded comment.