Crafting gifts vs buying

[Remy]

The holidays are approaching yet again and I'm dreading it. I don't do crowded shopping centers and usually make my gifts. But lately have been heartbroken after putting in hours of work and thought into said gifts to receive what appears to be a fake smile from receiver. Here's an example. Mother's day before last I crocheted a bag for in law. It was peach & white and covered in irish roses. These were things she liked according to rest of family. I got a 'what is this thing for' as a result. So this last mother's day I opted out and just bought her the biggest box of chocolates I could afford. I tuned out after several 'omg thank you's. I grew up poor and really enjoy making things and putting love into them that you can't get with off the shelf mass produced items. Should I even bother this year or should I just bake several dozen cookies for them and actually work on a project for myself for once?

[Pyper]

Just buy them chocolate and bake them some biscuits if they can't appreciate hand crafted gifts.

I really like making presents for people (when time permits), but I am lucky in that a lot of people in my family have done similar crafts at some point in their lives, so they can actually appreciate the time and effort that goes into what I make. If they thought of it as equivalent to mass made in China, they wouldn't be getting handmade gifts more than once.

Treat yourself to something nice instead.

[acidMiasma]

It really bothers me when people equate handmade to cheap. Fortunately my family was always very supportive (sometimes demanding!) of handmade gifts and drawings, crafts, et cetera, while I was growing up so I always did and continue to make my family things all year round. It wasn't until I hit my teenage years that I discovered the cruel reality that the rest of the world is not as accepting or supportive

With my inlaws, I still make something small for them, and add either cookies (not homemade), chocolates or a giftcard. It seems to go over well enough, although I'm still a little disappointed to never see the pieces I made again (they get packed up with the season and forgotten, I assume. Or thrown out. But I prefer not to think of the ladder lol).

[Remy]

Thank you, Pyper & AcidMiasma. Yeah I think they'll be getting a bag of candy or cookies. I'll use the extra time to make myself a blanket or something.

[Eliste]

I find it tricky. I often find that I'm inclined to make something small, but buy a second smallish present so that the two together make up something larger.

[Remy]

Eliste- That is a good idea. I think this year I'm going to just hand make things for my husband and close friends. I may make a dragon quest slime blanket for myself if I can locate the shade of blue I want. I hope everyone has a good day.

[Serissa]

I put a limit on the amount of money I spent on people and supplemented it with handmade things. Sculptures, crocheted gifts and such. I grew up poor, still pretty thin in the wallet tbh so I always do that. I put my limit to 25 tops per person and those that gifts fall below that I make them something. Personally I think it means alot that somebody cares enough to make you something by hand. If they dont like it at least hope they are wise enough to act graciously like we were all taught growing up.

So this year I ended up making 2 sculptures, 3 crocheted blankets as well as a some crocheted slippers and hats and scarves.

[Tevosa]

Oh geez...that's very sad Remy. You probably should just make something for yourself as a sort of craft therapy and go with the cookies for others. Most people tend to like food the most as it's something that can give them instant gratification. I think it usually takes another crafter/artist to understand the amount of effort that goes into something handmade. Sort of like walking in another person's shoes and seeing things from their perspective.

When I was a kid, I didn't have much money to buy gifts for people so when my aunt got married I cross-stitched a simple wedding picture for her and put it in a frame I got from the dollar tree. She's a very materialistic person who likes expensive things and can be pretty callous and unappreciative about what people do for her, so I was expecting it to be shoved into a box and forgotten. A few years later I saw it sitting on a dresser in her room and while she hasn't really changed and I still don't really like her, it still made me feel pretty good to know that it wasn't tossed out or something. I remember that she used to sew a lot of clothes several years ago so maybe that might have played a part in her decision to keep it.

I generally only give gifts to very close family/friends who I know very very well. As in, I had to have known you for at least a few years, otherwise you just get candy. Everyone else doesn't get a thing, not even a phone call.

I prefer to give a gift card/money so that they can buy whatever they want for themselves. Some people have told me that doesn't feel like you put a lot of thought into your gift when you do that, but I find it much more useful. I usually supplement it with something else anyways and no one who's ever gotten one from me has complained about free money.

Usually they're store bought presents and if I know the person well enough to know that they'll appreciate something handmade, then I'll make them something to go with it. Like my brother for instance. He doesn't care about crafting himself and I'm pretty sure that he has no idea how much time and effort I actually put into the things I make, but he keeps everything I get for him in plain sight in his room. That and he appreciates money more than anything else as he can use it to buy more video games. Sometimes, if he's borrowed money from me I will waive his 'loan' on his birthday/holidays so he doesn't have to worry about paying me back so he can focus on saving for the next game and that's considered good enough to be a gift for him. (I'm pretty sure it's mostly my fault that he's so obsessed with them anyways.)

A friend who spends a lot of her time doing origami (she's gotten to the point that she can fold paper stars while she watches tv and churns out piles of them by the time the show is over) gets a gift card along with a bag of origami paper that I spend the rest of the year picking up whenever I see them. A couple younger cousins get things they can use in school. Diaries and Hello Kitty themed things for the girl, and Domo, dragon, or martial arts binders/bookbags for her brother. I can get plain supplies and decorate them to fit each person and they are appreciated as their mother rarely buys something without it being on sale/very cheap/free so they often don't get the really (expensive) cool/pretty decorative school supplies that they want. (Then I sneak them each some cash on the side as their mother requires them to turn over any gift money they get and they're usually put in cards that are opened in front of everyone so there would be no chance for them to hide anything.)

If your in law likes expensive chocolate, then just make a mental note to only get things along those lines for her and save your time and energy to handmake things for the people you know will appreciate it (like yourself). On a side note, one year, my cousin (the sister from the story above) and I pooled our money to buy a medium sized box of Godiva chocolates for our moms to share. Not a cheap gift for two kids who didn't have jobs yet. We were so excited and hopeful when we gave it to them, but all we got were vocal complaints (especially from my aunt) about how we wasted our money on overpriced chocolate and that if we wanted to give a gift, we should have just given her money. Needless to say, it broke our hearts and neither of us will ever buy Godiva for them again.

[RMDC]

Tevosa, you're absolutely right about being in another's shoes. I learned pretty quickly who among my spouse's and my families appreciate handmade gifts and who is just going to chuck it the moment my back is turned. My father-in-law was huge into Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis, but the very intricate Atlantis puddlejumper papercraft I made for him to go among his desk collectibles never saw the light of day - a shame, because it's still one of my best builds. Conversely, the simple Metroid stitching I made for my brother-in-law (a pattern from the forums with just a little glow-in-the-dark backstitching added) occupies prime space in his room. He's not a crafter, but he's currently in college for graphic design and has done intricate projects for his coursework, so he knows a little something about how time-consuming it is to create visual media.

[Ally]

I've made gifts for most people this year, but I usually supplement them with something else. I've stitched things for my brother that he's liked and that I see out in the open when I visit him, but I always get him a game or a DVD too. Same with his girlfriend; this year I've done two Dr Who stitches for her (quite hilarious, not being a Whovian myself and having the references go right over my head...) but I'll also be buying her chocolates. Same with my mum I've crocheted a Snoopy plush and bought her snazzy nail polish since she's on some sort of weird kick with it. If you know your receiver will appreciate a hand-made gift go for it, otherwise what's the point? Make yourself something nice