Sprite Stitch Board!

Clinical depression sucks. Life is going great? Here...let me screw with you. I've been sooo depressed lately. For absolutely no reason. I've cut myself almost every single day the past two weeks, had several thoughts of suicide daily, even started to write a note at one point. I feel like I'm only staying alive to keep from hurting everyone else. Not sure how much longer I can even keep that up. I hate how I feel on meds. I hate how I feel off of meds. I don't think I like my therapist anymore, but I don't want to find a new one and there aren't a lot in-network anyway because the mental health portion of the insurance sucks. I just don't know anymore. Sorry to disturb everyone. Carry on.

If you feel like you need another therapist, then you should try and find one that works for you, especially when you've been having a lot of trouble lately.

Do you think the cutting and suicidal thoughts could be related to something medicated? Bring this up with your therapist, and maybe they will have some suggestions as to what you can do to work through it. I've never been to a therapist, so I can't really say much more than that. But if you ever need someone just to listen, then please, feel free to either PM me or shoot me an e-mail. Heck, you can even look me up on Facebook if you really need to.

We're all here for ya, anytime. I understand about the feelings you are having, the best thing I have is my Significant Other to talk to. Have you talked to your hubby about how you feel / the cutting? I do agree with Kareesh - bring it up with your therapist (even if you don't feel you like him/her) because it's better to try and get help. And remember there's always a Black Mage on your team!

Perhaps a therapist is not for you? How about talking to your GP and asking for suggestions on alternative routes. I'm sure there are some charities that can help you out, all I know is the UK ones I'm afraid. Don't worry about thinking you shouldn't be hitting up a charity, a) thats what they're there for b) think of it as trying to find someone to talk to, the new experience can also become a distraction. And if your anxious beforehand talk to us about it, we aren't going anywhere, spritestitch means family after all. The amount of times i've narrowly avoided cutting because i've forced myself to come on spritestitch first and have a mooch around then a big moan. But I know how hard it is to break that cycle once you're in it. Have you tried the rubber band around your wrist to snap or grasping an icecube tight in your hand so it actually sticks to your skin? How about wearing a bandage for a couple of days, with or without cutting, the feeling of a bandage wrapped around your arm has become a comfort to you. Put some music on close your eyes and focus on the words and let it fill you up. Get a piece of paper and scrawl all the feelings you have on it. Throw something across the room, a glass or plate is usually good for the smashing effect it has. Go for a walk in the dark. Be sure to clean your cuts, take your time and really focus on the cleaning and wrapping.

I know how you feel, I really do. Lately it seems like there is a rage miasma all over. I am not sure if it is simply because of all the violent goings-on in the world or if it's just a bad time with the cooler months coming up. I've been so angry for the last three days with no reason at all. Now I will say - didn't you just move into a new house? Were there complications? Even if there weren't, that is a HUGE change and moving is uber stressful. Don't beat yourself up just because it may all be over now and you are feeling the adrenaline wearing off. The other question is - have you thought about why you don't like your therapist anymore? What has changed? Are they not actually helpful or are they actually pushing you (the hard love tactic) and you just don't want to see what they are saying? I am not saying to stay with them if it is no longer effective. In fact, I am saying quite the opposite. The only reason I've never had a steady one is because I haven't found one I am comfortable with besides my highschool district psychologist (she is still a friend). With any I have had "meet and greets" with to get a feel for them, I feel super judged. Like my problems aren't that big and no one should feel that way about their therapist. I do hope you eventually stop cutting for good but just know that if you needed distraction at those times, we are here and we care. Things will get better.

I can't be a whole lot of help because reading what you wrote made me cry and I've been really emotional. But I can say that I know how it feels. I promise that it will get better. If you remember that it can help you fight through this. We love you!!!!!!

I really really appreciate all the support and love that I get here...that's part of the reason I posted. I don't mean to be an attention * or drag people down or take away from others' problems, but sometimes I really do just need some confirmation that other people have been where I am and that other people care for me. Thank you all so so much. I am in the process of seeking some other help since what I'm doing just isn't helping. I have debated seeing if I can take a short leave of absence at work and trying an intensive in-patient therapy program at one of the local mental health facilities. Going to call my insurance company to find out if it'll be covered first and go from there.

I just got out of an almost 7 year relationship with an abusive drug addict. I met him when I was a freshman in high school (14) and I am now 21. We've been broken up almost a year now. And well it really f'n sucks! I am happier without him but at the same time I really really miss him. I feel like he's the only man I've really ever connected with and I know that is probably total bs but he was a huge part of my life. He was always there even if he was abusive. There was also a time when he wasn't doing drugs and he was wonderful but I know that's not who he is now. I don't really want him back because I am scared of him and I know I can find somebody better but I still miss the hell out of him. Also, if things would've went as planned we would be getting married this Saturday and that's bittersweet to me. I guess I just really have a * time with men in general (no offense men I don't blame you) I was emotionally abused by my dad and sexually abused and raped by my cousin and I just am having a really hard time not blaming myself. Sorry for being all woe is me feel sorry for me. I just really needed to get that off my chest and well advice would help A TON.