This has just been a really stressful week, so sorry for this huge rant. My dad got a new job at the begening of this year, and his insurance just started up, but they still havn't sent us our information. So when the steroid I take for my asthma ran out, it took nearly a week for us to call in a new one through them, and so that sucks since it's so hot and humid that my asthma is being a jerk anyway.
I've also been trying to sign up for my university classes and that is going not so well, because a lot of the things I thought I could do with the university I'm going for fell through and they don't do, so if I want to graduate with the degrees I want, I have to go to the school in the state I was planning on, then I have to transfer to a different one in a different state to finish out my double major, and then once I graduate from there, I have to find somewhere else I can go to get a double masters. And almost none of it is going to be paid for by scholarships even though my gpa and ACT scores were really good, so I still have to figure out how to do student loans, which no one I talked to seems to know how to do. I also have to come up with the money to get me halfway across the country to my university, and find a job out there.
And then we come to my wisdom teeth. Which above new insurance does not cover at all. We've known since my freshman year of highschool that those suckers had to get taken out before they screwed up everything the braces did to fix the structure of everything, but we never were able to save up the thousand to do it. And today my mom called the only person in town that has an anesthesiologist that can knock me out so that they can dig the undeveloped teeth out, and the price is apparently two thousand and not the one. And my family can't pay for it, so it all falls to me, but even combining the money I'll make from working this summer with anything I got from relatives for graduating won't come close to what I costs, and I have to use that money for the things I need for college. And it's just stressful because the braces fixed things that would ruin the structure of my face, and I'm worried that if the wisdoms start coming in that they will mess up everything that my parents already had to pay for four years ago. And letting them come in isn't an option because I already had to have six teeth taken out before I had the braces.
I've also recently realised that with the way my university schedual is turning out, I'll only get a semester or two overlapping with my best friend because by the time she gets back from her church mission, I will have moved on to my next college, and so there is a huge chunk of eachother's lives that we're going to be absent for other than emails and (once she gets back) skyping, which just really bugs me because she's the one who keeps my stress down, and I'm the one who keeps her anxiety down, and so I'm worried about that.
And overall even hobbies are starting to feel stressful, and I kind of just want to spend all of my time laying on my face not moving and trying to figure out which of my kidnies I could sell. I had all of these plans and then life deccided to butt its stupid face in, and now I feel like crap. Also, if anyone would be so kind as to answer a personal question, even if you'd feel better maybe doing it in a pm, what does depression feel like? I know the textbook answer as to what it is, but I've been very hesitant to ask any of my real life friends this question, and public schools may beat into your head the ways to identify it in others, but no one ever tells you how to with yourself.
Boy oh boy, thank you to anyone who actually read all of this, and even if no one did
it is freaking relieving just to rant about it, so thanks for making this thread
